Wednesday, February 24, 2021

An Elf's Tale

 Gogo:  I am the CEO of Santa.  So, that means I’m VERY boring.  But, I am very smart as a businessman.  I love to comb my hair.  I comb my hair at least 84 times a day.  


George:  Lucky!  I don’t even have hair!


Gogo:  If I can’t comb my hair at least 84 times a day, I might as well kill myself!  Oh, I’m a very dramatic elf.  


Chris:  Oh my GOD, I am the opposite of dramatic!  Oh my god, you’re stupid.


Gogo:  Santa chose me to be one of his reindeer, Rudolf, and I said nnaaaaayyyyy!  I have a carrot for a nose!  


Chris:  Who wrote this story, Katie Carriero?


George:  Who’s a stupid person?  I’m a stupid person!  And I have no brains!


Gogo:  This is my story, now shut up!


Chris:  Or else what?!?


George:  Oh yeah, whatever he said!


Gogo:  Or else Santa won’t give you any gifts!  Bark!  Roof!


Chris & George:  Ahh!  Okay okay!  We’ll listen!  We’re out of here!


A Turkey Story

 Chris:  Hmm, it’s nice to be a pumpkin, it’s nice to be a turkey!  Oh, and I’m also a prodigy!  I’m very good at Chemistry!  Do you know a lot about Chemistry?  

George:  No!  Because I’m stupid!  I’m going to show my feet to everybody in the world!

Chris:  YUK!!!  

George:  Do you wanna see my butt?

Chris:  Yuk!  You’re so disgusting!

George:  Why!  I’m disgusting!

Chris:  You’re so stupid.  We are Santa’s Elves!  Filling Santa’s shelves!

A Pumpkin Life


George:  Hmm, hmm, it’s nice to be a pumpkin.  I’m always very warm because I have a hot candle glowing inside me.  Just so you know, I’m the dumbest pumpkin in the world, I may say things that are not smart.  My favorite holiday is Christmas!  I love to see the rest of the pumpkins rot away.  Was I supposed to tell you about my life story?  Wait, wait!  I’m dumb so I don’t need to do anything.  You know what?  I’m really thirsty for vampire blood.  And I am hungry for myself!  Gobble gobble. 

y & The Alien


Mom:  Timmy!  Your room is such a big mess!!!

Timmy:  Mom, it’s not my fault my room’s a mess! 

 Mom:  Of course it’s your fault!  Because the only other person in your room was Anthony.  And he’s such a good boy!

Timmy:  Me and Anthony were playing with his new race cars. Only four of them. 

Mom:  And what does that have to do with our conversation?

Timmy:  And we heard a weird noise outside, so we opened the window. 

Mom:  First of all, you shouldn’t have even opened the window.

Timmy:  But, this huge spaceship landed and a green alien with three heads came out and jumped in the window. 

Mom:  How come I didn’t hear it?

Timmy:  Just let me tell the real story!  Anthony tried to shoot him with my zapper gun.

Mom:  That thing can kill people!  It’s too dangerous for you to play with!!

Timmy:  But it didn’t even hurt him — he just got real mad! 

Mom:  Wait, what color is the alien again?

Timmy:  Green.  Anyway, so he knocked all the books off my shelf.

Mom:  Ah, green.

Timmy:  Did you even pay attention to the rest of the sentence?

Mom:  Um, actually no…

Timmy:  This is my least favorite part.  He picked up my toy box with his antennas and dumped it all over my room. 

Mom:  So, let me guess, so you threw a Frisbee at him and it bonked him on his third head?

Timmy:  Well, I love you mama.  And you are correct.

Mom:  Just go on with the fake story Timmy. 

Timmy:  It’s not fake!  And I’ll go on with my story.  Then, he slimed out the window.

Mom:  I love you too Timmy.  But you have to know when to be literal and when to be figurative.

Timmy:  And the spaceship disappeared into the sky!  

Mom:  Who wrote this story?  Katie Carriero?

Timmy:  Geez, Mom, you should be happy I’m still alive!

Mom:  Just wait till I tell your dad this story!

Alien:  Hi!

Timmy:  See mom?!?

Mom:  Ahhh!!  Okay!  I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.

Timmy:  Actually mom, that’s not an alien!  It’s Anthony!!

Mom:  I was wrong about Anthony.  He’s a bad boy.

Timmy & Anthony:  Haha!

Timmy:  Never tell me to clean my room again!

Mom:  Okay.


A Little Scare

 Once there was an elephant, he was so dumb 

He did not know the difference between an angel and some gum

He was so fat, but nothing compared to a cat

He was bigger than a house, but he was scared of a mouse

He will crush you is you brush his teeth

He will eat you if his song you repeat

He knows his multiplication tables

But he can’t read his clothing labels

His favorite food is a nice plate of human-fish

Which he eats on his favorite dinner dish

When Trunk needs to go to sleep

He will read holding up his feet

Goodnight, goodnight Trunk

At least you have a cozy bunk

(and you're not a monk!)

A Little Scare

  Once there was an elephant, he was so dumb  He did not know the difference between an angel and some gum He was so fat, but nothing compar...